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Biblical Humor

Straight from the Inbox:

Q:  What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

A:  Ruthless.

Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?

A: German shepherds.

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the bible?

A: Noah, he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the bible?

A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury.  David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.  Also, probably a Honda, because all the apostles are in one Accord.

Q:Who was the greatest comedian in the bible?

A:  Samson, he brought the house down.

Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children why he no longer live in Eden?

A:Your mother ate us out of our house and home.

Q:  Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the bible?

A: Moses, he broke all ten commandments at once.

Q:  Which bible character has no parents?

A: Joshua, son of Nun.

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Posted by on March 19, 2008 in Uncategorized

 

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A little Friday delight

LETTER OF THE DAY

 Dear Miriam, 

The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV as usual.

I hadn’t gone a hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car juddered to a halt.  I walked back home to get my husband’s help.  When I got home, I found him in the bedroom.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high heel shoes, and he was wearing a make up.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for 12 years.  When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed up in my lingerie because he couldn’t find any of his own underwear.  But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he has been wearing my clothes for six months.  I told him it had to stop, or I would leave him.

He was made redundant from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum, he has become increasingly distant, and I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.  Please can you help?

                                                                                  Mrs. B, Essex

  MIRIAM SAYS……A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults in the engine.  Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.  If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold.  If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2008 in Uncategorized

 

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