The pain comes every year. Never fails. I thought time heals all wounds. It doesn’t however fill the hole in my heart created by your passing.
So every now and then, I remember you. I remember how much I missed you. How much I wanted to know you more. I remember you more today than I have in years. And today and every December 4, I am a mess, weepy and sobby.
Should I behave like this on the day of your passing? Would you have liked that, or would you have preferred that I keep a poker face? On your wake, all your kids made a pact to keep a straight face, no crying in public. I did not know whose bright idea it was but we all agreed to that, and succeeded. Until the funeral when I let the tears loose.
Anyway, I just want to tell you how much I loved you. I love you. I cannot remember saying it to you when you were alive. And I truly regretted that omission and will continue to regret it for the rest of my life.
I missed you a lot.