06 Nov

IMG_0036, originally uploaded by airam94564.

They were friends,had mutual friends and belonged to the same clique. She thought he was always there for him. He was. In high school, he would tease her with any boy who would show interest in her. She was always comfortable with his company. She would allow him to do her math homework, despite her inner voice telling her not to. She did because he always volunteered. She would correct the ones she thought were erroneous, but there were so few of those cases/problems that merited her correction.

They [the clique] remained close through college even though everyone went to different universities. They would maintain close contact, meet during school breaks, and write to each other in between breaks.

The closeness stayed through their post collegiate days when they all shared the pains of applying for jobs and waiting endlessly for call backs.

All through this, he was secretly carrying a torch for her, which she knew nothing about. Everyone in their circle knew, however. The girls told the boys she knew nothing about it and that he was misreading all the signs. She remained close to him, considered him her very close friend. What she thought was the same treatment she was giving him all these years were now being colored differently by him because of these feelings he suddenly felt for her. She remained clueless. Sure, she would catch him staring at her, or sometimes all his focus was on her, but she brushed those aside as inconsequential. It simply did not occur to her he would break the pact—no hooking up in this group. Of course that pact had become null as two other couples came out of this group. He was wishing they would be the third couple. She was wishing for someone else.

It all unravelled one weekend trip to the beach. She brought friends with her from college, a couple. He did not know they were a couple. He got really jealous when he started teaching her to swim. She had no clue he was stewing while she was trying her dog flaps with this college friend next to her on the water.

When they all got back from the trip, she was informed. He was hurt. She could not understand why her desire to learn how to swim would inflict him pain.

They sat her down and explained that in a span of about two years he was carrying this torch for her. She told them she had no knowledge. They all agreed with her that she was plain dense when it comes to these matters. She was, they said, after all only focused on a single person, the one not from the group, but the group actually liked him too.

She tried to talk to him. But by then he got really nasty. A bad side of him that she had never seen before was in full display. She was put off by this ugly side of him. And she too brought out her claws ready for the battle.

By then the friendship that was developed for over 10 years had gone up in smoke. There was no way to salvage it, despite friends’ intervention. He eventually eased out of the group. She stayed put.

A year or so later, she came to her senses. She tried to write him and apologize for what she termed as her “insensitivity to his feelings”, but he was by then still consumed by his anger that no amount of reasoning would sway him. It was a friendship lost.

Authors note: I am personally saddened by the demise of this friendship as I personally know both parties. Sometimes pride and failure to communicate wreaks havoc that is irreversible.

I was listening to this song, Apologize, and heard the lyrics, “its too late to apologize“, and immediately remember this story. I will be posting the lyrics to the song, I don’t know what the song is about to be really honest. I know this post is about that line—it’s too late to apologize.

Here’s the lyrics to the song.


Posted by on November 6, 2008 in personal, soundtrack of my life


5 responses to “Apologize

  1. Louise Cannon

    November 6, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Life is so full of emotion. It makes it wonderful, but it can rip it apart. Sometimes people need to detach themselves from their emotions so they can see and think clearly.

    However, life does change and people move on. It is sad when it has to be such a violent transition, but it happens all the time.

  2. bw

    November 8, 2008 at 6:13 am

    Hmmm.. a tragic misunderstanding indeed. It wasn’t too smart for the guy to act like he was betrayed by the girl when there’s wasn’t an “official” relationship in the first place. I guess he was just too presumptuous.

  3. piapot

    November 9, 2008 at 11:07 am

    well, it’s just the way it goes… sometimes it goes out the way everybody wants it too, but there are times you just have to move on and put the past in your memories…

    an oh,

    love the photo… 🙂

  4. 2sweetnsaxy

    November 11, 2008 at 12:27 am

    I’d like to hope that this is something that time would resolve, that one day they will meet again by chance, or that one of them will dare to pick up the phone and the years they shared will wipe out those few minutes of words they both regret.

  5. Luiz Ramos

    November 11, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Beautiful photo and text.


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